Dirty Little Secrets
by DixieH
Summary: Three unrelated ficlets: Logan, Eames & Goren - They have secrets and I'm going to tell you what they are!
1. Detective Mike Logan

Three unrelated ficlets written after a conversation with Cifan about secrets. - Dix

No copyright infringement intended or implied.

**Dirty Little Secrets - Detective Mike Logan**

It wasn't for a while after his fist connected with the city councilman's jaw that Mike Logan remembered her. He thought of her off and on through all the years he'd been a cop, because she was the first victim at the first crime scene on that very first day long ago. After he was suspended and reprimanded and transferred, he wondered if some how he'd let her down. It was the most painful aspect of the whole thing; not the public humiliation, not the censure or the reputation he'd earned, but the thought that he'd let that little girl down somehow.

//

Logan sat down heavily in the chair at his new desk. The desk was narrow, metal and had a single bank of drawers. One leg of the four was substantially shorter than the rest and so it wobbled whenever he touched it. The chair was narrow too and the wheels were stuck fast so he had to scoot to move it. The seat leaned precariously to the left. He knew after a week or two of sitting here his back and legs would be shouting for relief. It was the end of his very first day at Major Case. He wondered if he should have stayed on the Island. MCS didn't seem all that grateful to have him.

And then he thought again of Anna Patterson, age 8, laying bloody and dead beside the swing set in the park a few blocks from the nasty apartment block she called home. He pulled out his wallet and slide the worn photo out from under the flap.

When he 'd arrived at the scene, Patrolman Logan, in his shiny new uniform, her open unseeing eyes had followed him through all he did at the scene that day. She wasn't the reason he became a cop. But she became the reason he got out of bed in the morning and on days like this that left a sour taste in his mouth, he'd didn't quit. Nobody would have guessed that Mike Logan of all people, rage-aholic, bitter detective had a soft spot. A soft spot named Anna Patterson. The little girl who broke his heart.

He was still lost in the past when Detective Goren taped him on the shoulder. "My partner and I are going for a drink." Logan looked up. "Do you want to come?"

Logan slide the worn scrap back into his wallet and grinned. "You bet."

_- Fin -_

_Thanks for reading - Detective Alex Eames is next._


	2. Detective Alex Eames

**Dirty Little Secrets - Detective Alex Eames**

She stood beside the open grave with her black coat pulled tightly against the breeze that was rushing headlong through the cemetery. She stood between his parents and her own, ringed by his siblings and their spouses and their children. A sea of blue uniforms filled her vision when she looked up; so she tried not to.

She starred at the ground and let the memories wash over her. She thought of the firsts: the first time she saw him and the first time she kissed him. There were lots of firsts, but the last thing that happened was the worst.

Her own words rang in her head. She could still see the plate, toast and all, sailing out of her grasp and across the room to shatter against the wall two feet above his head. She had a lousy arm. This punctuation did nothing to convince him to live up to the promises he'd made.

"Ally, I'm doing it for us."

"US!" She shouted back. "You take this assignment and there won't be any us." It was then that she let the plate fly, not knowing that her words were prophetic. Of course he saw it coming and stepped out of the way. The shards rained down on emptiness.

He gathered her in his arms then. "You'll see," He said. "It'll lead to great things for us." He held her a long time while she wept tears of frustration. They tiptoed around one another until it was time for him to leave for work. He kissed her but she hardly kissed him back.

There was lots of work to do on the Narcotics squad without being undercover every shift. But Joe didn't see it that way. He lived, and breathed being a cop and he thought because she shared the badge she would share his single minded passion for the work. What he didn't know, what he would never know was that she had a new secret passion and that was the baby inside her.

Their shifts conflicted in such a way that they barely saw one another in the week that followed the argument and then his Captain was standing hat in hand at her door. The house was full of cops and full of cops' wives and full of his family and her own. She was like zombie in the days leading up to the funeral. She blamed him for dying, she blamed him for abandoning her and for breaking her heart.

//

She never told anyone about the baby ~ the loss of it was just another thing on a long list of things she blamed Joe Dutton for.

_- Fin -_

_The final installment: Detective Robert Goren_

_Thanks for reading._


	3. Detective Robert Goren

**Dirty Little Secrets - Detective Robert Goren**

"Secrets?" He'd say if you asked and then he might just chuckle and shake his head or perhaps look away for a moment and then down at the scuffed toes of his shoes. "I have no secrets."

After the last few years, who doesn't know everything about his past? All those juicy revelations about his mother and his brother and then the earth shattering admission that his biological father was a killer. Everyone knows all of it or at least they've heard enough gossip to think they do. Bobby thinks that all his secrets have been shouted from the roof tops and that he is all out, but there is one left.

There is the one thing ~ one thing ~ that Robert Goren hasn't admitted to his drinking buddies, to Lewis or to Mrs. McNabb, who invites him for tea and scones. In fact it is so closely guarded, he hasn't even told himself. It's a little something he'll likely take to his grave.

You see Robert Goren's taste in women used to be diverse. It never mattered to him whether she was blonde or brunette, tall or short, round, or lean. He used to be the one guy who really was more interested in her personality than her smile. And the women loved him for it. He'd tilt his head and ask questions and then really listen to the answers, but that all changed some time ago. Now he only has eyes for one woman and she is so unattainable it would be better if she didn't exist at all.

But she does exist. He sees her every day. He sees her anger and frustration and her mistrust of him and the world. He also sees her brilliance, persistence and loyalty. He looks for her when he enters a room. He waits for her as they leave. He wants to know where she has been and where she is going. He tells himself this is partnership. This is a good working relationship. But these are lies to cover what no one must know.

Some day if he isn't careful, he's going to be lurking in the shadows of her life watching her go where he can not follow. She will attract someone else's attention and she will find trust and peace and love. She will still be his partner perhaps, but she will move beyond his sphere. She may even, God forbid, get married again. It would be a heart breaker. But because he hasn't told himself that his feelings for Alexandra Eames extend beyond that of partnership and friendship; it will take him by surprise. And it may be the biggest and worst revelation yet for Robert Goren.

- Fin -

Thanks for reading these. - Do you have a favourite? - I do but I'm not telling! Dix.


End file.
